The Last Burning Flame
by OneViruz
Summary: "I am no hero, but I do know I failed my mission that night. I failed at one of the few things I care about: protecting people..." Set if Chris is the sole survivor after the lodge blew up. Follow his thoughts as he feels responsible for the loss of his friends. Also contains some slight ChrisXAshley. Rated T in case.
1. Smothering The Fire

**Author's Note:** Just an idea I've been wanting to implement.

Your feedback is very important to me, so feel free to provide any comments!

Thank you!

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Chapter 1: Smothering The Fire

They were all gone, dead. They were burned and damned with the Wendigos forever.

Never again will I get to see their smiles. Never again will I get to hear their laughs and relive the gleeful moments we have spent together before that night. My last memory of them are the blood and the fear in their eyes, their agonizing screams as the lodge blew up right in front of my eyes.

I am no hero, but I do know I failed my mission that night. I failed at one of the few things I care about: protecting people. That night, I have failed to save my friends who I considered family. I have lost the one and only person with whom I wished to spend the rest of my life. I have lost everything that was dear to me. And along the way, I have completely lost myself to someone or something that I didn't recognize.

People kept telling me that it wasn't my fault, that I couldn't do anything about it. Part of me wanted to believe them, yet I have never been able to fully erase the guilt. Since I was the only one left alive, I felt like I just _had_ to bear the responsibility for their death. You know, for the sake of Mike and Sam, who sacrificed themselves. For the sake of Ashley… it still hurts just to mention her name.

For the sake of Jess, Emily and Matt; for the horrors they had to endure in the mines, all while I was being a coward.

For Josh… I can't say I'm holding a grudge against him, I don't think I ever did. Despite being an asshole that night, he was still my best friend, my closest confident. In my heart, he was still the good old Josh who called me _Cochise_.

I had the chance to escape just in time before this damned lodge blew up. I threw myself in the snow, gasping for air. I was injured, near a mental breakdown, yet I could only think of my friends' safety. Did they also make it? What about Ashley? I was only hoping to see anybody emerging and running for their life, but nobody came. Then I felt a wave of hot air against my face. It took me a while to assess what was happening… my mind was blank, void of any thoughts. It was only a few minutes after I then realized that I just lost my friends.

Rays of sunlight gradually appeared, marking the end of the night and the beginning of dawn. All of this to wait _until dawn_ … The sunlight burned my eyes, my skin. It burned my soul along with all remaining hope I had. I almost wished it would have burned me to death, dragging me into eternal darkness; then I could be with them again.

When the rescue team came to get me, I wouldn't stand up. I just couldn't because my legs wouldn't budge. I was staring into a void, nowhere in particular. As I was pulled in the helicopter, they were asking me questions but I wasn't hearing them. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the burning lodge slowly shrinking and disappearing within the mountain. Part of me was ripped apart and burned.

Then we arrived to the interrogation room. I was asked stupid and meaningless questions about that flamethrower guy, my friends and what happened to Josh… Honestly, I couldn't give a shit about them. They wouldn't believe me anyway! I also despised the fact that they remained completely skeptical about the Wendigos. All my friends died on this damned mountain and all they could do was doubt my claims, my words. And they dared to suspect my deceased friends of murder? I wanted to rip their faces off, tear their heads apart… just like a Wendigo.

Anyway, this was all useless. Life is useless. In some ways, life itself has no true purpose. It's just an endless cycle. And if you get lucky enough, you'll get the easy path.

After the interrogation, I went back in town to see my family. As soon as they saw me, my parents immediately embraced me. I could sense the panic and relief reflecting in their actions and intonation. The attention I got made me feel slightly better, but it wasn't enough; nothing could fill the void inside of me. I still wouldn't answer any of their questions and it obviously worried them. Even after a while I would just sulk in my room, refusing to meet anyone. Not even Ashley's family, who requested to talk to me personally. This was particularly painful and I didn't think I could handle that. I actually found out a bit later, from over-hearing things, that they knew about the relationship between Ashley and me… through her personal diary. I think they wanted to give it to me, but I wasn't ready mentally.

My mental condition worsened as days went by. I hardly found any passion in anything. I couldn't study, I didn't have any motivation to pursue the app project I started working on a while before. I laid most of my days in bed, watching comedy on Netflix, hoping it would change the mood and cheer me up. But nothing could heal me. Nothing could hold the pain I felt. The memories haunted me and I could still hear their cries. My dreams were only nightmares. Sometimes it would start positive but it would mostly end up with everyone being torn apart, blood spreading everywhere, splattering on my face... I could hear Ashley's screams, pleading me to save her.

Some have told me just to forget about it. How is that even possible? That even sounds harsh.

My family has paid for a psychiatrist to help me deal with PTSD. Maybe that helped, but I couldn't notice any sign of improvement. What have I done for all of this to happen. What have done wrong? Who would have thought I would lose the love of my life, my friends, my hope… and my life, to the butterfly effect?

While my mental state was decaying, my physical condition wasn't improving either. I couldn't eat and nearly became anorexic. I didn't take care of myself anymore and grew a neglected beard. I didn't see any more reason to continue and force myself.

For the first time, the pressure of the gun, this time not filled with blanks, felt good against my chin. I found some comfort into it but never pulled the trigger. I have tried to kill myself a few times but it has never worked. Whenever I would almost pull the trigger, they were there, pinning me to the ground and yelling at me with sorrow. I have tried to injure myself… but they hid the gun, the knives and the saws. They forced me to heal when I clearly couldn't.

I fought against them. I think I even punched my therapist, cursing endlessly. I didn't recognize myself anymore. There happened a time where they even put me in a mental illness center, to keep me under control for a while. Back then I didn't get why. I didn't want to live anymore. What was the point in keeping me alive?

Then one day I was finally allowed to go outside. And I saw this bridge. This very very high bridge. Then I thought, why not? I ran to the edge and took a deep breath. This could finally be all over. I jumped.

Then I fell into darkness.


	2. Enlightenment – Animating The Fire

Second chapter is here! Hope you like it :)

Guest: Thanks for the review, I'm really glad that you like it! Chris and Ashley are definitely part of my favorite couples as well :)

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Chapter 2: Enlightenment – Animating The Fire

 _O Death, won't you spare me over 'til another year?_

"He's not dead, is he?"

"Of course he's not, look at him!"

"Dear god, what happened to him…"

I woke up to the sound of familiar voices around me. When I opened my eyes I noticed I was sitting on a couch, in the main room of the lodge. Wait, _the_ lodge?

I was utterly confused and rubbed my eyes, kind of expecting that it would change whatever was happening but it did nothing in particular. Everything in the room was intact, as if the lodge has never been blown up in the first place. Was this one of those terrifying nightmares? If it was, I just hoped I would wake up before the horrors began.

"He got knocked off pretty hard."

"Yeah, such a goofball."

"Would you guys just shut up?"

The voices… it was them, I was sure of it. I lifted my head to be met by the worried glances of my friends.

Right in front of me was Ashley…

There was also Josh.

Sam.

Emily.

Matt.

Jess.

Mike.

Even Hannah and Beth were there, smiling.

There they were, all standing around me. Unlike my previous nightmares, everything felt so tangible and so… safe. My senses were fully awakened and I was in full control of my body. For once, I trusted that environment and I could let my guard down. It was great to see everyone together, just like in the good old times. Right now I didn't care whether this was real or not because I was just happy to see them.

The couch slightly shifted as someone sat next to me; it was Ashley. The moment I saw her, I couldn't hold the tension inside of me anymore so I let myself pour out tears, letting all the emotions out. Everything flowed back and forth, the dreadful memories of their death, the aftermath and the lodge burning down to ashes.

Then I felt Ashley's warm embrace around my shoulders.

"Chris."

I looked in her eyes, those I fell in love with.

"Ash…"

I pulled her into an embrace. Her body was so warm, making me realize how real she was. How was this even possible… Anyway, I took her hand into mine and squeezed it gently. I thought her touch was soothing and putting me more at ease.

"Look who's finally gotten into the bone zone!"

I turned to face Josh, who was standing in front of me, his arms crossed over his chest and staring at me with his signature smirk. I snickered. _Typical Josh_.

Nevertheless, I was still unsettled of what I was seeing and could only manage to spit out a few words. "How… What… what's happening? I'm so glad to see you all!"

"Chris, we're also really happy to see you…" Sam said, as she sat on the other side of me and gave me an apologetic look.

I could already feel my smile fade away, expecting the worse. This was all just my imagination, wasn't it?

Ash pulled her hand away from mine despite my silent protests, only to softly caress my cheek. She had a seriously worried expression on her face. "Chris, what have you done to yourself?"

"Hm, what do you mean?"

I honestly didn't have any idea of what they were talking about and why they were so concerned about me. It wasn't like I killed myself… did I?

Sam gently put a hand on my shoulder. "You've let yourself down."

Not too far away, Emily crossed her arms and scoffed. "You've let _us_ down."

Jess walked towards me, holding a large rectangular object in her hands. She passed it to Ashley, who turned it in my direction with a disappointed look on her face.

It was a mirror. It was supposed to show me my own reflection but I couldn't recognize the person in front of me. The image reflected in the mirror was one of a guy who had a dirty and poorly maintained beard, dark circles under his eyes, pale and lifeless skin deprived of any warmth. He looked very sad and empty, devoid of any sense of humour. This was very unlike me. In fact, it wasn't like Christopher Hartley at all; I couldn't see myself through this mirror.

Then realization dawned upon me. The burning lodge, the burned bodies and the smell of death followed by guilt and depression, the gun, the mental hospital, the bridge...

I pulled my legs close to my body, embracing them. I betrayed my friends and failed once again to do what I had to do: keep the remaining flame burning and alive.

 _I have killed myself. I have let them down._

I was being selfish and along with myself, shattered the memories of each one of them. Nobody was there to try and convince people about the reality of the Wendigos anymore. The sole person possessing the only truths and memories was gone. I also destroyed my own persona; I have erased who I was.

"Hey Chris, don't give up just yet. We're here for you."

I could sense the genuine concern and confidence in Mike's voice. That was exactly how I remembered him to be.

Matt approached me. "You may have made a mistake, but nothing prevents you from starting over."

Their shift in attitude destabilized me. By any means, I was dead. So what was the point in trying to lecture me? This was the afterlife, a world and a concept that was superficial and non-existent to me back then, before all hell broke loose and before my life fell apart.

"Christopher Hartley."

They called my name, but I didn't recognize my own name anymore. Josh stood right in front of me and rolled his eyes.

"Cochise, stop sulking. You are not dead."

Am I?

Ashley's hand softly made its way to mine and stared at me with her deep green eyes.

"Hey, I know how much pressure you've put on your shoulders. This must have been weighing you down so badly," she started. "You have also given everything you've got to save me and I cannot be thankful enough. I hope you realize that."

To everyone's surprise, Emily's voice suddenly echoed in the room. "We're all there for you and we always will, don't forget that."

Jessica also joined the conversation. "You can start over only if you get a hold of yourself, you know," she said with a grin. "Like, you don't even have any reason to blame yourself. You did what you could."

"It was _not_ your fault," added Mike.

I shrugged and looked away, letting out a chuckle. This was slightly encouraging but what was there to do anyway? It wasn't like I could exit this "game of life" and start a New Story. After all this time, I've been forgetting that they were still there. Not physically present, but present within my heart and embedded in my dearest memories. In the end it was very simple, yet I chose to be lead by emotions instead of reason.

 **If only I could start over...**

Sam nodded. "Mike's right, you couldn't do anything more to save us."

"I realize that now," I said gloomily.

"Christopher, I can tell what you're thinking right now. You think there is no way to start over, hm?"

I turned to Josh, who still seemed the least affected since the beginning. Geez, he hasn't changed a bit, even in this semi-reality or dimension, or whatever state I was in.

"You can start over only if you believe in yourself," he continued. "You have to convince yourself that you can do it and stop acting so emo and shit."

I chuckled. He was right, I've been acting like such an emo, falling in a deep state of depression and suffering over my own fate. I've been the coward all of this time, skulking beneath a pile of guilt and refusing to acknowledge that I was lucky to be alive.

"You have to trust yourself," Ash said, "as much as you trusted me. You deserve to live, Chris. You deserve to forgive yourself and move on."

She paused. "And I believe in you."

They all stood in front of me with confident smiles. I felt some warmth spreading through me, as if I was coming back to life.

"We all believe in you."

Josh grinned. "We won't let you down only if you do the same. Not only for us, but especially for yourself."

 **If only I could start over…** I would not surrender to an endless decadence and void of darkness. I would make my friends or should I say, my lifelong partners proud of who I am and who I want to be. Even if they weren't on Earth with me, even if all this setting wasn't real, they were guiding me through every step, every obstacle. And I would not let them down.

I felt powerful and better than ever. "Thank you, guys."

Suddenly, my eyelids felt heavy.

No… I didn't want to wake up. _Don't leave me._

 _We believe in you._

My eyes closed as I felt Ashley's lips on mine, sending an electric shock through my body, knocking me out.


	3. Wisdom – Sustaining The Fire

Here's chapter 3 :) Hope you enjoy!

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Chapter 3: Wisdom – Sustaining The Fire

When I woke up once again, I felt so... different.

The first thing that came to mind was wondering if it was another dream or hallucination. Whatever it was, my head was buzzing. I couldn't even think straight! Though I could feel some pain erupting from my ribs and legs, and it was a very unpleasant sensation.

I then tried to shift to my side but it hurted so badly that I avoided making any sudden move. I sensed a soft fabric rubbing against my skin and realized I was laying on a bed. Squinting my eyes, I saw a weak ray of sunlight emerging through the window. I had to blink a few times in order to adapt to the intensity of the sun.

I could also sense someone else's presence next to me...

"I have waited _until dawn_ for you."

I turned around and I saw my grandmother offering me her dearest smile. It has been a very long time since I saw her, almost five years! Her hair got grayer and her skin wrinkled, but she has never lost her beauty; the kind of beauty that does not fade away with time. She still had this big and true heart.

I passed my hand over my face and let out an exhausted breath. I didn't really know what I should have said. The whole vision thingy or whatever it was, wasn't even a dream; neither was it an hallucination. I've never been a superstitious person, but it was from that moment that I was convinced I've experienced some state between life and death. And instead of tending towards death, I was given another chance to live; as if the last burning flame in me didn't want to be smothered and there was still hope, despite the helpless and pessimistic mental state I was stuck in.

"Some things are just meant happen. You have to accept that sometimes, you can't always prevent unfortunate events," she said.

I warmly smiled towards her. "I realized that, just now."

"I'm sure you did," she said with assurance, as if she had a glimpse of what I've seen before I woke up. "I am happy to see you, Christopher. It has been a long time."

"Indeed it has been a while, it has been over five years," then I paused. "I've missed you."

I leaned it for a comforting hug. My grandmother has always been there for me, when my parents were unavailable, which unfortunately consisted of most of the time. She has taught me life lessons and helped me go through my social anxiety. My fascination for the _butterfly effect_ also arose from her. When she explained the concept to me, it has changed the way I viewed the chains of events and made me realize how every choice you make will trigger consequences some time later on. Or the other way around, what is happening in the present is a result of some action done in the past. Throughout my youth and teenage years, my grandmother has given me wisdom.

My close friends may have died in such horrifying circumstances and burned with the Wendigos, but deep inside they were always there, keeping an eye on me. Truthfully, they will never be forgotten and I will keep fighting to reveal the truth about the curse roaming this mountain. I will fight for their sake, all while knowing that they will never let me down.

I was pulled out of my reflections as I saw that my grandmother holding something towards me.

It was _Ashley's diary._

I was totally not expecting this see this again! I took it in my hands and smoothly passed my fingers on the cover as if it was the latest, most expensive and precious technological gadget on the market. Heck, it was even more than that, it was a treasure.

"Where… Where did you get that?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"I asked your mother to give it to me a few days ago," she started. "She kept it hidden in her drawer after Ashley's parents came over to your house. Back then you didn't want to see it, but I thought it might interest you from now on."

"I… hum..." I stared at the diary, not quite knowing what to do or what to say. I genuinely thanked her for her gift.

Before, I wasn't strong enough. Before, I didn't think I could handle seeing Ashley's words written in her own handwriting. But now, I was stronger. Now, I wanted to know what Ash was thinking, in her own words.

I didn't open the diary immediately, dumbstruck of what happened.

Shortly after, my mom entered into the room, crying like a baby. She held me tightly in her arms, telling me how happy she was to see me alive. Following her were my father and my siblings, altogether holding worried faces. The situation seemed absurd, considering that I literally came back from death.

A sharp pain suddenly erupted through my ribs, as if I just came out of a trance that made me insensitive to my injuries. Obviously, when I jumped off that bridge, I didn't quite expect to come back alive… The impact of my body colliding with water was way harsher than I thought.

But you know, in the end, I was happy to be still standing on this planet. The warmth of the flame ignited deep inside of me never truly went away. That flame, containing all the memories of my lost friends, is what has kept me alive for this whole time. The flame was burning all along. Each one of us is part of ome huge fire, in which the flames are widely spreading to its surroundings.


End file.
